On Marriage (the abbreviated, soapbox, less scholarly, very rough draft version)

Marriage has been a hot topic in the United States for quite some time.

Some say allowing gays to marry would be a threat to the institution of marriage.

Some say it should be a state matter. (Which, yes, constitutionally, that's correct.)

I say it should be up to the religious institution.

I think society is a threat to the institution of marriage. People will get divorced because of "irreconcilable differences" and simply because they just don't want to be married anymore. I believe we, as humans, make mistakes and I am a forgiving person and all, but the wedding industry has become absolutely ridiculous.
There is so much bridal stuff to help celebrate the big day. Couples are encouraged to register for items to help start their new home. They are spoiled, as a couple, because they are getting married. They get sucked in. And then, one day, one or both of them is over it.

Yes, I put that very simply, and it's not the case for everyone.

I believe the thought of "if it doesn't work out, there's always divorce," is too widely used. Don't get me wrong, I think divorce can be a wonderful thing ... for abused spouses, abused kids, adultery, breaking the law ... things that endanger one person or totally shame the institution of marriage.
Just because the couple doesn't get along and isn't in love anymore? No. We're grown-ups, people, deal with it.

This is how my perfect plan goes down:

Federal government says the state can no longer legislate marriage and marriage is up to the religious institution, as long as both parties are over the age of 18 and consenting adults.

For those who do not identify with a religion, there will be this thing called civil union. It will also be for everyone who chooses to indulge in this and would like a state marriage.

If you want your spouse to have the right to visit you in the hospital, make decisions on your behalf, handle your affairs after you're gone, etc, get the legal documents to do so. (BTDubs ... people with civil unions should do this already, to ensure proper rights.

I have a huge problem with the way things are already. Options for marriage are:

• Obtain a marriage license, have a religious leader/judge/captain/justice of the peace/etc. marry you.

• Move in together and declare yourselves husband and wife. (Check on your local statutes regarding common law marriage.)

Of those, I am not morally opposed to common law marriage because it does not require permission from the state, which the couple has to pay to receive. However, I am appalled that Alabama state law says it is illegal for a clergy person to perform a marriage ceremony without the presence of a marriage license. Where is separation of church and state in that?
When I was with The ex-Boyfriend, we talked a lot about marriage. I wanted it, he didn't. Sometimes he would say things that indicated he would marry me eventually. After five years, I was not sticking around anymore to find out. We both had similar feelings about marriage and government and are both down with option two. However, I wanted to involve my relationship with God in it. I'm okay with saying some vows to each other and saying a little prayer and being happily ever married, but it's also kind of sad that in order to have a preacher perform my marriage ceremony, I would have to ask him/her to break the law and risk losing their privilege to be a preacher.

We also discussed just hitting up the courthouse. This is a great option to ensure your earthly possessions are properly distributed when you die. I hate the thought of him dying, but I hate the idea of his son not getting everything he deserved even more. In this situation, I am not morally opposed to divorce, since God was not involved in the ceremony.

I greatly desire a marriage, a Christian marriage, and I have utmost respect for it. That being said, I feel as if divorce, adultery, and not feeling the need for a "piece of paper" are much larger threats to the institution of marriage than allowing a couple of the same sex who loves each other and is committed to each other marry.